Two weeks from today, I will take my youngest son to the airport for his flight back to Europe. Not knowing how long he will stay and where he will end up living and working make it more difficult for me and I’m sure for him, as well. I’m not looking forward to that day at the airport and I keep pushing it deep inside today-for my own good. I choose to think of him in his home in Arlington ,VA where I know he is busy packing and tying up loose ends before his departure. Actually, my heart’s choice is to have my children back as babies, living under my roof where I can cradle, love and project them again. Kiss them goodnight and good morning every day 🙂
We are trying to spend as much time as we can with my son and of course, he is also trying to see as many friends as he can before he flies out. Time is short. This is what he wants and he was raised overseas, so I get it. I do. He will be happy there and my daughter and I pray for his safe travels and for a beautiful life for him. We are proud of him. He has carefully researched this move and I know this wasn’t an easy decision for him to make.
I know all these things and still, my heart is heavy. I’ve run out of tissues and am down to using paper towels. My tears threaten to stream down my cheeks every few seconds and I’m trying to hold it together. At times, it doesn’t seem like I’m doing a great job and my dear friends are here for me, thank God. I’m not used to being such a baby, it feels alien to me, but I’m thankful for their care today and during these coming weeks. I’m reminded that my son is not going off to war, he’s happy, healthy and strong and I’m grateful for that. Very thankful. I just have to get a grip and stay there.
Editing Part I of my historical novel, A DECENT WOMAN, hopefully for the last time, is keeping me distracted and grounded this morning. It’s been helpful to tackle my book edits in three parts. I’m making good headway with Part I and am happy with what I’ve written. I’ll soon be ready to tackle Part II and by the time I finish with those edits, my son will already be back in Europe. Which leaves Part III of the book- the end of the book which will signify his new life and beginning. It will also signify the launch of my book and my new beginning as a published author. Part III will not signify the end by no means. My historical novel will be launched into the world and with that will come much excitement, more hard work, marketing and hopes for good reviews and sales. I’m proud of this book.
The book of my children that began the days they were born is a great book, too. It has been a pleasure to write this masterpiece with my children. It is a story of love, joy, adventure, trust, understanding and compassion. The book features celebrations, shared losses, many laughs, surprises and twists and turns as is life. I realize this morning that our book is in Part III-with adult children making their way out into the world without me. The family unit has grown and expanded and I will remain on the sidelines watching, cheering and loving them from a distance. As it should be.
As with A DECENT WOMAN, there will be a sequel in the book of my children and probably, one after that. It is not the end of the world, although it feels like that this week. As a family, we will continue adding chapter after chapter until my children take over writing the book in their new voices and different perspectives.
Actually, it just occurs to me that the book of my family that I began writing as a young wife and new mother will continue, but each of my children have already started new books of their own. Although we live close by and are very close, they’ve not lived with me for four years. It’s fitting that they’ve begun to write their own books and new chapters are being written with my son moving to Europe and my daughter graduating from her Masters program in December and her marriage next year.
My job will be to make cameo appearances in their written entries of the joyful celebrations of their lives. I will continue writing entries in our book wherever I happen to be. Maybe one day, I will start a new book, a joint venture. You never know 🙂
And so, life goes on…
PLEASE JOIN ME FOR AUTHOR INTERVIEW FRIDAY on April 18!
Our guest will be Jennifer Hotes, illustrator and Booktrope author of the exciting cross-over YA/suspense/mystery/thriller novel, FOUR RUBBINGS.
We are excited to have Jennifer join us!