Desires, Dreams, and Disappointment

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.

– Roberto Kiyosaki

I have the desire to see my novel, A Decent Woman, in print. I have the desire to continue writing full time, and I have the desire to see many more of my books published.

My dream IS huge, and I’ve handled disappointments along the way with a positive attitude and as much grace as I could muster!

I believe I handled the disappointment of not attending the Comadre and Compadre Writers Conference last Saturday well. But, it wasn’t easy. I had a round trip train ticket to New York City; I was staying with a dear, long-time friend in Manhattan; and I drove from West Virginia to Northern Virginia on Friday in Friday DC area traffic. I ordered my cab for 1 am to make the 3 am train, and was visiting with another dear friend in Virginia until my cab arrived. After a few phone calls to family, it hit me – I couldn’t go.

My 84 year old father has advanced Alzheimer’s, my step-mom is at her wit’s end with medical appointments and caring for my father, and I had a premonition I would be needed in Florida. I tried pushing the negative thoughts out of my mind all evening to no avail. I cancelled everything. Yes, I was sad to miss the Conference,  and not meet with my dear friend in NYC, but it was the right thing to do. As soon as I wrote the necessary emails and made the necessary phone calls, I felt lighter and clear-minded.

Yes, I missed spending time with a dear friend, meeting and networking with new friends and authors at the Conference, and meeting the author, Esmeralda Santiago, the speaker for the Conference, but it wasn’t meant to be. My friend was absolutely wonderful about my very late cancellation, I received a train voucher for a future trip, and the Conference organizer graciously offered to refund my money. I have beautiful and amazing people in my life.

I usually listen to my inner voice, and I was happy I listened last Friday night. My sister and I were on the phone that evening making plans for our trip to Florida, and I felt in control again…which I realized was only temporary as we can never fully control all aspects of our lives, so I should say I felt more in control of my emotions, and the negative thoughts were put in check. It was impossible to know whether we would have been called to Florida that weekend, we very well could have been called, but at least in the DC area, I was closer to an airport, and I saw my daughter which always makes things seem right with the world.

I don’t know what we’ll find when we land in Florida next week. I’m praying my father’s surgery goes well, he recovers quickly, and has no pain afterward. I have a week to get things in order at home before flying out, and I continue to pray, remain positive, and have faith that all will be well.


Published by

Eleanor Parker Sapia

Puerto Rican-born, Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the award-winning, historical novel, A DECENT WOMAN, published by Sixth Street River Press. The book is a Finalist in the 2016 International Latino Book Award with Latino Literacy Now, and was Book of the Month with Las Comadres and Friends National Latino Book Club. She is featured in the award-winning anthology, Latino Authors and Their Muses, edited by Mayra Calvani. Eleanor is currently working on her second book, The Laments, set in 1927 Puerto Rico. Eleanor is a writer, artist, photographer, and blogger, who is never without a pen, notebook, and her camera. Her wonderful adult children are doing wonderful things in the world, which allows Eleanor the blessing of writing full time. Please visit Eleanor at her website: