This week in Berkeley County, West Virginia. The moss green and viridian leaves of summer have turned to lovely shades of ochre, garnet, and gold. We are free of the oppressive summer humidity and I’m wearing my favorite sweater. The daytime temperatures are in the mid- to high 70s. Light blankets are on the beds for 40+ degree nighttime temperatures–perfect sleeping weather in my opinion–it’s almost time to pack away summer clothing and to dry clean coats and jacket. In the garden, the jalapeño and Cowhorn plants are still producing chili peppers. I turned over the soil where the tomatoes grew. (Again, another frustrating year for tomatoes). And it’s time to cut back the prolific and invasive morning glory vines that are trying to overtake the many mature lilac bushes that edge my yard. Home and garden maintenance–never-ending!
Autumn is my favorite time of the year. This special time of year is perfect for settling in with good books, journals, a new calendar, and new writing notebooks. Steaming mugs of spiced apple cider, gluhwein, family gatherings, and pumpkin anything. For many of us in the east coast, fall is a cozy, peaceful season of warm woolen blankets, heavy quilts, soft lighting, Renaissance fairs, and reflecting upon summer memories we made with family and friends. A wonderful time to make plans and to set new goals and dreams for 2022. And for naps. I’m a big fan of naps.
Going within. Stillness. This dormant period of the year is the perfect for reflection, creativity, and for writing.
Despite a very busy August and September with exterior and interior painting, I’ve been surprisingly productive with my work-in-progress, my second novel titled The Laments. Often, writing is my way of taking some measure of control of my life when things are in disarray or in chaos, as I find myself this morning with the electricians and two painters tackling the upstairs bedrooms and bathroom.
Earlier in the week, I carved out a little niche in the living room to write. This morning, I know my writing will have to wait a day or two as the painters inch closer to “my safe place”. C’est la vie. It all needs to get done before it’s too cold to paint.
I remind myself that home maintenance and chaos are necessary at this time. Emptying rooms allowed me the first opportunity in ten years to downsize, throw out, donate, and sell items I no longer need. It feels great. I feel lighter. More energetic. It’s amazing how well purging works on my psyche and mood.
Come winter, I shall enjoy a freshly painted home and all outlets in this old house will be in working order for the long, cold months ahead. Preparation. Organization. Downsizing. Purging. Cutting out. Fixing. Maintenance. Peace. Productivity.
This all sounds familiar. This sounds like the creative process. It sounds like writing.
Stay safe. Get your vaccines. Happy Autumn to you and yours.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR PARKER SAPIA:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning historical novel, A DECENT WOMAN, and her first collection of poetry titled, TIGHT KNOTS. LOOSE THREADS. both published by Winter Goose Publishing. Eleanor is currently working on her second historical novel set in Puerto Rico called THE LAMENTS. She is the mother of two amazing young adults and tells herself that one day, she will walk El Camino de Santiago de Compostela again.
AUTHOR ELEANOR PARKER SAPIA – WRITER OF CARIBBEAN FICTION AND WOMEN’S FICTION, POET, AND ARTIST
By Marsha Casper Cook
Please talk about your roots and how you found out who you wanted to be in your new life. Your story is very inspirational.
I was born in Puerto Rico into a family of exceptional oral storytellers: my grandmother—the matriarch of our family—my mother, and my aunt. Their magical stories included lives of struggle, spirits, herbal recipes, ancestral rituals, good food, and a fierce love of family. I was the child at my grandmother’s knee, always begging for one more tale.
I doubt it surprised anyone in my family when I turned to storytelling through painting and later with writing. A simple trip to the corner store can yield ideas for new stories or poems, and a cast of characters for future novels. However, my journey to publishing novels set in Puerto Rico with a good dose of history and magical realism took a circuitous route. Publishing my first collection of poetry took even longer. Each stage of my journey was as important as the last—steppingstones to where I am today—living and thriving in a creative world.
Following in my parent’s footsteps, I married a US Army officer, and we raised our children in Belgium, Austria, and France. To date, I have lived in Europe longer than I’ve lived in the US and Puerto Rico.
For 25 years, I painted and exhibited portraits and still lifes in the most unforgiving medium—watercolor— which speaks of perseverance and keen observation. I stashed drafts of poems in an old cookie tin and volunteered with refugee organizations and counseling centers in Brussels, Belgium.
In 2000, two life-changing events coincided: my maternal grandmother’s 90th birthday and receiving a copy of Julia Cameron’s seminal book on creativity called The Artist’s Way. The following year, I invited five girlfriends to experience the course with me. I learned just as much as my friends, who encouraged me to keep writing. Around that time, the paintbrush no longer told the stories of my soul—I was hooked on writing. I would go on to facilitate four more creative clusters with participants who felt blocked creatively or were interested in discovering their artistic passion.
In honor of my grandmother’s 90th birthday, I wrote a tribute to her that included many of her life stories. After reading the tribute, my then-husband encouraged me to write an outline. That outline turned into the first draft manuscript of A Decent Woman, set in turn of the century Ponce, Puerto Rico, my hometown.
In 2005, life changed dramatically. Before I knew it, I was a single woman in her 50s. I left one life and started a new one in the U.S. when my children headed to American universities. I was forced to face the unknown, dig deep, and tackle many challenges, much like a baptism of fire.
How has writing novels changed you as a person? If yes, please feel free to elaborate.
I believe my creative journey had more to do with my personal growth than the actual writing of my books. Before my divorce, I volunteered as a Spanish language refugee case worker and as a volunteer counselor in the only English-speaking counseling center, both in Brussels, Belgium. After my divorce, I moved back to the U.S., where I graduated from a massage therapy institute, I worked full-time as a bilingual (Spanish) social worker with the immigrant/refugee population and became a Reiki Master.
During that same time, I honed my writing skills, but the draft manuscript of A
Decent Woman wouldn’t see the light of day for five years until a shoulder injury precluded me from continuing a career in massage therapy—I was at a fork in the road. I made a life-altering decision to leave my job and to move from the Washington, D.C. area to West Virginia, where I could afford to write full-time.
Through writing novels and poetry, I found my voice quite organically. My previous career choices bolstered and inspired me to write novels of courageous women living simple lives in extraordinary times. The characters in my book said what I needed to share with the world—stories of misogyny, domestic violence, racism, and early feminism. Sterilization of women against their will or without their knowledge. Hate crimes against women and prostitutes. Class struggles. I use it all in my stories.
I believe life helped me grow into the role I was destined to fulfill—that of a storyteller. My hope is to continue to honor my maternal line and my Puerto Rican roots with my writing.
In your new book, a debut collection of poems titled, Tight Knots. Loose Threads, you expose a side of you that no one knew. Was that decision difficult for you?
Just before my first poetry collection was published in April 2021, a good friend, a therapist, read my collection. She wondered if readers would view me in a new way, and wondered if my raw, emotional poems of love desired, love denied, and heartbreak would confuse friends and readers who’d loved A Decent Woman.
While readers and friends on social media know me as a writer, a divorced mother of two awesome adult children, a feminist, an activist, who loves to garden and travel, my reply to my friend was, “How well do we know anyone?” My close friends and family weren’t surprised, at all.
I understand it’s human nature to often put people in boxes to better understand them, but I don’t enjoy limits, literary or otherwise. I was ready to unpeel more layers of my emotional onion. To stretch out and take up more room as a mature woman and as a writer.
I didn’t shy away from writing about controversial, delicate, taboo themes in A Decent Woman and there were many. Writing poems about controversial and delicate situations and exposing raw emotions wasn’t difficult either.
Now, although every poem isn’t about me, I admit to feeling a bit vulnerable about the intimate nature of some of the poems. What helped me move forward with publication was the Coronavirus pandemic and turning 63. We were and are still living in a world of unimaginable loss, grief, and fear. The year 2020 moved me enough to retrieve the poems I’d stashed in the old coffee tin for over twenty years and to write new poems for my first collection.
In my opinion, it was the perfect time to release Tight Knots. Loose Threads. I hope readers will relate to the poems and not feel alone as we’ve all experienced heartache in love and relationships. I thought, if not now, when? I’m glad I listened to my gut.
What do you think the Publishing Industry could improve on?
One frustration I share with many writers is the push by some publishers and agents for writers to garner as many reader reviews on Amazon and Goodreads before and after a book is published, as if that guarantees literary success. Honestly, writing and marketing our books are hard enough. Of course, I absolutely adore hearing from my readers and am incredibly grateful when a reader takes the time to review my books, so the last thing I want is to annoy them with constant requests for reviews. So, there’s a delicate balance.
Then, there’s paying for literary reviews—a gray zone. Most writers I know don’t have extra money to pay for reviews. I don’t know the answer to the dilemma of literary reviews. I write stories I’d like to read, and if I connect with a reader, that’s wonderful.
What is the most difficult part of your artistic process?
I’m a slow writer. On occasion, as I watch writers publish a book or two each year, I can fall into doubting my process. But that is short-lived. My process works for me. I believe in allowing a story to come together in an organic way. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about my story 24/7. I don’t begin with a firm outline or a firm ending. I always have a rough idea of where I’m going and what I want to highlight in the story, such as domestic violence, misogyny, racism, growth, or battling personal demons. Being locked into a particular storyline or ending without deviation disrupts my creativity. What I want for myself as a writer is to reach others. As a reader, I want to be moved.
Life has taught me to be open to change, discovery, and that starting over can be golden. I am a big fan of rewriting as much as necessary and to listening to my characters. It’s not uncommon for my story to change and evolve. That can only come from knowing your characters inside and out. With time and patience, the dividends pay off.
What keeps you up at night as you near the end of finishing one of your books?
Great question. What I struggle with is knowing whether a story is finished, which is easier to discern with painting.
I ask myself if I’ve done my best with what I know today to rewrite a sentence, a page, a chapter for clarity, rhythm, and lyrical meaning and weight. Ultimately, I listen to my gut—I trust I will know when I’ve reached the end. Readers may, of course, feel differently about our story!
What does Literary Success look like to you?
While receiving literary awards and accolades were a thrill, success of any kind can be a short-lived, slippery slope. I remind myself to not rest on past laurels. After each published book, I’m back at the beginning—learning more about the craft of writing, honing my skills, working hard, and doing research for the next novel.
Marsha Casper Cook – CEO, Author, Screenwriter
If readers love, remember, and recommend my book(s) to other readers over years and years, that is literary success to me. I want to move my readers as much as I need to be moved to continue to write good literature. It’s never been about making money.
Because of your new book, a collection of poems called Tight Knots. Loose Threads, you have increased your readership into a different market. Will you continue that path?
I wrote poetry long before I considered writing a novel. So yes, I will continue to write poetry, which feels as natural as painting, writing novels, and keeping a journal, where many poems are birthed. Painting for over 25 years helped me write A Decent Woman and The Laments. Writing poetry helps me access emotion and continue to write poetic prose in fiction, and writing fiction helps me write deep poetry. It’s all connected.
Writing poetry is also cathartic and healing. It’s a great way to peel away, examine, and discover old or new layers of my personality and life experiences in an intimate way. While poems of a more sensual nature may bring up feelings of vulnerability or of feeling a bit exposed, I tell myself that by being “naked” and unafraid, I’m connecting with readers who I hope will realize they’re not alone—we’ve all experienced love and heartache and pain. It’s universal.
In the future, I also hope to write a poetry collection and a novel in Spanish, a beautiful, lyrical language.
Are you pleased with the way readers have admired the courage it took to compose such a wonderful collection of poems? And did you expect readers to find themselves understanding your journey in a way that many poets never achieve?
Thank you for your kind words, Marsha. The readers who reviewed Tight Knots. Loose Threads before and after publication were gracious and generous with their praise. I am grateful for the gift of their precious time as many are busy writers. It is always heartwarming and validating when others understand our journey and resonate with what we’re trying to convey.
I had hoped readers would find themselves in the collection. It reads like the journey of a love affair from flirtation, passion, and love to confusion and sadness, followed by anger and grief. The death of love. There are many voices in this collection. It’s real life. Love is universal.
While I don’t consider it an act of courage to put out a poetry book of this type, it did require me to reach deep into myself and to push the boundaries of my comfort zone. I grew as a woman and as a poet.
What advice would you give to new aspiring authors?
Sounds cliché but learn to write by reading. I encourage aspiring authors to read books in their chosen genre, books by their favorite authors, and books recommended by favorite writers. I also encourage folks to write through the scary bits of the story as that’s usually where the meat and essence of the story are found. If you’re not passionate about your story or if you rush the creative process, it will show.
Lastly, your story matters. The saddest thing to me are unwritten stories.
What are you working on now?
Since 2016, I’ve been working on a second novel called The Laments. The story begins in 1926 in a Roman Catholic convent in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico and a Spanish-built leprosarium on Isla de Cabras, an islet located five miles off the coast of San Juan.
The Laments is the story of an idealistic novice nun whose monastic life is shattered by crimes at her Convent. As a means of escape, the conflicted novice volunteers to serve the patients at Lazareto Isla de Cabras. A colorful cast of characters and chaotic events will clash with the nun’s mission to save souls for God. She will be challenged to take a hard look at making her final vows and to take an even harder look at truth.
The Laments will be in reader’s hands in early 2022. I hope readers connect with this story.
My thanks to eYs Magazine and to you for the wonderful opportunity to connect with the eYs audience.
You can find out more about Eleanor at linktr.ee/ EleanorParkerSapia
Special note to Eleanor: It has been my pleasure to interview you and I would also like to thank you for the wonderful friendship we have developed over the years. Marsha
What a thrill it is to see my first poetry book, TIGHT KNOTS. LOOSE THREADS. on my Amazon Author Page alongside my first novel, A DECENT WOMAN. Thank you to Winter Goose Publishing for taking a chance on my novel and this collection of poems. I remain grateful.
I realize it’s an hourly thing and Amazon book rankings go up and down, up and down, but an hour ago, TIGHT KNOTS. was still #1 in the Poetry about Death genre, #2 in Poetry About Love, and #2 in Poetry About Love and Erotica. And a bestseller (#27) in Love and Erotica Poetry. It’s always a thrill no matter how many books one has written.
So what am I doing publishing my first collection of love poems at the age of 63? Shouldn’t the art of writing love poems be left to the young? Shouldn’t I be on the couch knitting? I love to knit, by the way. Or maybe defrosting the fridge? Doing anything other than writing love poems that my publisher just added to the love, death, and erotica poetry genre categories? Erotica. That makes me smile.
You know what? I should be doing all those things plus writing love poems that will make you cry, laugh, raise your eyebrows, cause your heart to swell, and make you think. Make you think about your past, the present, and yes, of a future with love.
Love is eternal. Love is magical. It doesn’t matter how old you are — we all need love — and love doesn’t solely belong to the young.
Speaking of young, maybe you’re wondering, “Do Eleanor’s adult children know what she’s been up to all these years with her poetry?” The answer is yes! My kids and their loves read an early draft of the manuscript and they are very supportive. Each one is a brilliant writer.
A friend teased that she will know which poems are mine. I said she won’t because we’ve all had our heart broken. We’ve experienced love. We’ve been married, single, and divorced. And no, I’ll never tell which poems are about me. After all, a lady needs an element of mystery.
So, why publish a collection of love poems now?
2020. Isn’t that reason enough? Tragically, over 500,000 beautiful souls died and it broke my heart. Why not? Life is precious and I am celebrating LIFE.
The second reason is for women over 50 and beyond, who sometimes feel invisible, no longer relevant, or stagnant in their day to day and creative lives. It is possible to write a book and to keep writing at any age. Please don’t forget, there’s no perfect time, it always seems too hard, and your words matter.
WE WILL CARE.
Lastly, I dared to publish a collection of poems at 63 because I have been writing poems and stashing them in folders, in desks, and on Word for twenty years. Long enough. If not now, when? Never doesn’t work for me.
The poems gestated and went through enormous transformation. Light was refracted, bent, and everything became clear that it was time to put the poems together and birth this book.
While I may not know all the ins and outs of writing poetry, my heart needed to speak. I listened. Some may say I’m taking a risk, but it doesn’t feel like a risk to me. It feels great! My heart has carried these poems long enough.
Now, I can write more poems and focus on finishing my second novel, THE LAMENTS.
Thank you for pre-ordering your copy of TIGHT KNOTS. LOOSE THREADS. See? I’m thinking positive!
The official Release Date is 4/29/2021. I hope you enjoy enjoy my debut collection enough to post an honest review on Amazon and Goodreads. I already know book reviews are golden gifts to all authors. I thank you in advance.
Stay well, be happy. Never give up on love.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR PARKER SAPIA:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning historical novel, A DECENT WOMAN, set in 1900 Puerto Rico, and her first collection of poetry titled, TIGHT KNOTS. LOOSE THREADS. both published by Winter Goose Publishing. The release date for the collection of poetry is 4/29/2021.
A novelist, poet, artist, and photographer, Eleanor lives in Berkeley County, West Virginia, where she is working on her second historical novel, THE LAMENTS, set in 1926 Puerto Rico.
When Eleanor is not writing, she facilitates creativity groups for women, tends her gardens, and tells herself she is making plans to walk El Camino de Santiago a second time. Eleanor is the mother of two fantastic adult children and a Chihuahua named Sophie.
Over the weekend, I opened the upstairs windows to air out the house and enjoyed the birdsong streaming throughout my home. With the first cup of coffee in hand and the sun warming my face on the kitchen porch, I smiled. Welcome, Spring.
Fully caffeinated, I pushed open the shed door and like a wizard, I twirled, swirled, and captured copious spider webs with my broom before entering. Sorry, spiders. I took inventory of pots and potting soil, brought them outside, and checked the vegetable and herb seed packets. I cleaned off my garden spade and inspected the vegetable and herb plots for new growth from last year. The celery I planted at the end of summer has new green growth, and the rosemary, thyme, and oregano plants wintered nicely. I snapped off brown twigs and turned over the rich, dark soil in my garden plots, praying my area is past the possibility of snow flurries, for on this day, two years ago, we had a few inches of snow. Nope, none of that, please. I’m ready to get my hands dirty in the garden and to feel the sun on my bare shoulders.
On Sunday morning, I perused the first Burpee catalog to arrive in my mail box–my sign that spring has arrived. The catalog brought back joyful memories of the day the Sears toy catalog would arrive at my home before Christmas. There was no greater joy as a kid than to pore over the pages and dream of the perfect toy, doll house, or Barbie doll. I feel the same way about gardening catalogs.
I finalized my first gardening order of the year: an apple trees, two Concord grape twigs, and lettuce, kale, spinach, and Swiss chard plants because I want a head start this year. The seedlings did well from seed to garden, but I want instant gratification, smile. I added a white clematis I hope will take over the kitchen porch by early summer.
The Concord grape vines I found when I bought this old house have sadly not produced healthy grapes for three years. I held off pruning the vines for eight years (afraid I’d make a mistake) and had healthy harvests year after year. The first year after I pruned back the vines, not a harsh pruning as I’d been instructed, a virus was introduced. It was devastating. The healthy, heavy bunches of Concord grapes of the past were not to be.
I still enjoy the gorgeous growth and welcome shade of the grape vines over my courtyard dining area, but I must do what I don’t want to do–pull out the old vines, which I doubt will be easy to do. I find that heartbreaking. People passing by have told me the vines have been in place since the 50s. Heartbreaking. So, I’ve decided to prune the vines back to the first major knot and like a good haircut, I am hoping for new, healthy growth before I am forced to pull out the vintage vines.
If you know about growing and pruning grape vines and can offer tips, please let me know. Thank you!
This morning, I’m starting the vegetable and herb seeds in the two trays I purchased last year. I have two large bags Miracle Gro Vegetable Soil and dozens of plastic pots in many sizes for later. Of course, I’d prefer clay pots, but they are expensive and heavy to ship. Plastic pots aren’t used that long before the baby plants are in the garden, so that’s not quite a rush at this time.
I’ve often thought of how much gardening resembles the writing life. There is research involved, preparation, learning the basics, and just doing it. I’ve met writers who do the necessary research, join writing groups, learn, buy the books, and still don’t write. Or they begin and then stop for many reasons. I find it sad how many beautiful and important stories are never told and shared with the world.
Pruning resembles editing, rewriting, and proofreading. The most difficult phase of writing, but my personal favorite. As my writing mentor says, “Art is in the rewrite.” That’s where I am with my second novel The Laments and with my grape vines. I will do my best with what I know. If that means pruning hard or cutting out unnecessary or redundant portions of the novel that don’t sing, that’s what I will do.
To the fear of failure or fear of doing it “wrong”, I say–there is no right or wrong way to garden or to write. Seeds of creative inspiration and vegetable seeds want to grow! They will grow. Your role is to do it.
Stay safe. Wear your mask. Practice safe distancing.
Write and/or start your garden today by taking small, steady steps. Good luck to you.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR PARKER SAPIA:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning novel, “A Decent Woman”, published by Winter Goose Publishing in 2019. Eleanor’s debut novel, set 1900 Puerto Rico, garnered awards at the 2016 and 2017 International Latino Book Awards. She is featured in the anthology, “Latina Authors and Their Muses”. Eleanor is working on her second novel “The Laments”, set in 1926 Puerto Rico. Her debut poetry collection, “Tight Knots. Loose Threads. Poems” is due for release in April 2021. Fingers crossed.
MY DEBUT POETRY BOOK IN THE PIPELINE: TIGHT KNOTS. LOOSE THREADS.
March 17, 2021
I hope you and yours are well and soon, fully vaccinated! I am anxious to hug and kiss my kids and my loved ones! I’m excited to travel again! I’m dreaming of lying on a beach in Thailand and Puerto Rico! Four exclamation marks and I don’t care! Spring is right around the corner. I’m happy and hopeful.
I’ve been crazy busy since the beginning of the year. In January, my publisher suggested it was time to publish my debut poetry collection with an April 2021 publication date, just in time for Poetry Month. I am thrilled and grateful to her for taking a chance on me, a new poet.
As my publisher had an old copy of the draft manuscript (I was in the cue for a bit of time) and I like to think I’ve grown as a writer, I did a heavy edit on the collection. I rewrote many of the poems and included several new poems. Half of the poems were written between 2000 and 2007, the rest between 2011 and last month. We decided on the title, Tight Knots. Loose Threads. I love it. It’s the perfect title for this collection. The tentative book cover is wonderful, too. I can’t wait for the cover reveal and to see Tight Knots in print, in reader’s hands, where it belongs.
I am anxiously awaiting the editor’s second pass and trying to keep busy with my second novel, The Laments, which is coming along nicely. It’s such a great story if I do say so myself, smile. I am, however, finding it incredibly difficult to keep my editing pen in the drawer and away from the poetry collection. The word obsession comes to mind…
Reviews from wonderful and very generous advanced readers filled my heart with big emotion, gratitude, and hope that readers will enjoy my debut collection of love poems. I say love poems, and they are love poems with a reminder that love can also feel expansive, sexy, confusing, hopeful, painful, and at times, hopeless.
After my debut poetry collection, Tight Knots. Loose Threads. is published, I will order a big box of books, and by then, I will be able to mail signed copies of the book to readers from a real post office. What a great thought.
Now I understand why the Roaring 20s were so wild–it was the end of the Spanish Flu epidemic. I won’t be that wild (or maybe I will!) but I sure plan on celebrating big when we can travel, dance, and make merry with our families and friends again. Amen!
Stay safe, wear a mask, and continue to practice social distancing. Get your vaccines. The end may be in sight.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR PARKER SAPIA:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning novel, “A Decent Woman”, published by Winter Goose Publishing in 2019. Eleanor’s debut novel, set 1900 Puerto Rico, garnered awards at the 2016 and 2017 International Latino Book Awards. She is featured in the anthology, “Latina Authors and Their Muses”. Eleanor is working on her second novel “The Laments”, set in 1926 Puerto Rico. Her debut poetry collection, “Tight Knots. Loose Threads. Poems” is due for release in April 2021. Fingers crossed.
A brief recap of early 2020 as I peek around the corner in 2021.
In February 2020, my son and his girlfriend, who live and work in Bangkok, Thailand, called to inform us of a virus outbreak in China. When my son called with the concerning news, I was reading David Quamann’s Spillover:Animal Infections and the Next Human Pandemic about zoonotic diseases (diseases spread from animal to human).
That phone call was all it took for me to pay full attention and remain hyper alert for news out of China. My immediate anxiety was fed by my fascination with books, films, and documentaries of the pandemics of the past, disease, and outbreaks of deadly viruses. A decade prior, I’d read Richard Preston’s The Hot Zone and Jared Diamond’s Guns Germs & Steel. I was obsessed with documentaries on the Spanish Flu Pandemic of 1918. Like many others, I was convinced we were about to experience the first pandemic since 1918.
As news began trickling out of China, I grew more anxious. When brave Chinese doctors leaked reports to the world of their fears and the inability to contain the deadly virus, I knew we, citizens of the world, would be affected–our lives would never be the same. When those same doctors, COVID-19 martyrs to me, were detained and soon died of the disease, fear gripped my heart. Tragically, the virus was proven to be as deadly as they’d predicted and feared.
As news reports of infections began to surface in Europe, the UK, then Washington State and New York City, everything I’d read in the book Spillover became real, immediate, and terrifying. I called family begging them to prepare. I ordered face masks, disposable gloves, and bottles of hand sanitizer and spray bottles of Clorox.
Interesting note and proud Mom moment: In 2020, the Thai company my son works for, Open Dreams, won the annual MIT Solve Competition with their incredible and timely app called PODD, Participatory Onehealth Disease Detection, that specifically traces zoonotic diseases in animals throughout Thailand.Amazing~!
So, with my passion for history, reading diaries and journals written during the Spanish Flu of 1918, and my love of writing mixed with a fascination of the great pandemics of our world, I did what came naturally–at the end of March 2020, I began to chronicle my daily life in lockdown.
The end of March also marked the last time I hugged and kissed my daughter, my sister, and my nephew. We’d gathered at my sister’s home on a warm Spring day to enjoy a wonderful al fresco lunch on her sunny deck. I took a group photo to commemorate the day, unsure of what lay ahead.
The year 2020 will be long remembered.
I was vaccinated with the first vaccine in early March. My second vaccine is scheduled for March 30. I have no fear of these life-saving vaccines. I feel hopeful, for the first time in a long time. I can’t wait to hug my kids and loved ones!
My one regret…and it’s a huge regret that revisits me as we peek around the corner in 2021– Trump didn’t do what he should have done in regard to rushing the roll out of COVID-19 vaccinations across the nation. The unnecessary, tragic deaths of over five hundred thousand Americans weigh on my heart and they should weigh heavy on his mind and heart.
Stay well. Wear your mask. Practice safe distancing. Get your vaccines.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning novel, “A Decent Woman”, published by Winter Goose Publishing in 2019. Eleanor’s debut novel, set 1900 Puerto Rico, garnered awards at the 2016 and 2017 International Latino Book Awards. She is featured in the anthology, “Latina Authors and Their Muses”. Eleanor is working on her second novel “The Laments”, set in 1926 Puerto Rico. Her debut poetry collection, “Tight Knots. Loose Threads. Poems” is due for release in April 2021.
Eleanor is the mother of amazing adult children and currently lives in Berkeley County, West Virginia with her Chihuahua Sophie.
I hope you and yours are well. I also hope you’ve received your first vaccine. Even better if you’ve had the second shot. If not, I hope you’re on a short list. That’s a lot of hope!
Two weeks ago, I received my first vaccine. I will admit to higher than normal blood pressure that morning and it rose as I stood in line in a gymnasium with hundreds of folks after a one year lockdown. But what a happy day. A few hours later, I had a sore arm and maybe two hours of a low-grade fever, mild chills, and a dull headache. No big deal! As a person with autoimmune disease, I thanked my body for doing what it does best–fighting disease. I imagined my immune system filled with tiny She warriors with spears at the ready! I joked with my kids that somewhere in my compromised, but beautiful immune system stood Gandalf The Grey on the bridge, shouting, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” Yes, I have an active imagination and I’m a huge fan of Lord of the Rings, smile.
Like many folks, I’d been on several vaccine lists. While it took two months to be notified with an appointment date, West Virginia has had one of the most successful and efficient vaccine rollouts in the nation. Some friends were surprised at that news because West Virginia is a red state. I don’t know about all that–I am thrilled with the vaccine roll-out in my adopted state!
My appointment for the second vaccine is scheduled for March 30. I’m a bit nervous about the reaction(s) that may occur with the second shot, but like Dr. Fauci says, ‘It’s certainly better than getting COVID.’ Amen. Get your vaccines.
March 11, 2021 marked the first anniversary of our US coronavirus-related lockdowns. To say 2020 was horrible doesn’t quite do our experiences justice, does it? I don’t know if there is one appropriate, all-encompassing adjective to accurately describe 2020 as our experiences are so different.
In my January 25, 2021 blog post (I can’t believe it’s been that long since I blogged), I said I wouldn’t rehash all that happened in 2020. Months later, I realize it wasn’t a matter of ‘I wouldn’t’, it was more like I couldn’t rehash all that had happened. At that time, I hadn’t processed it all, not even a little bit.
It’s often impossible to process the past if we’re in the thick of what ails us…and we are still living in a pandemic.
Yesterday, as I began this blog post, 548,058 Americans had died from COVID-19 and worldwide the number of deaths was 2,674,597 million. This morning, 549,484 Americans died. The worldwide number is 2,685,458. The numbers are heartbreaking and difficult to grasp. What my brain (and heart) has difficulty processing is how quickly the numbers rise, within minutes, seconds.
Families and loved ones of poor souls around the world who succumbed to the novel coronavirus have experienced a year of unadulterated hell. 2020 was a year of immense grief, paralyzing fear, perpetual anxiety, and unspeakable suffering. Although the number of deaths continues to rise, the number of cases is slowing down in the US, in large part because of President Biden and the government’s successful vaccine roll-out, and the quick turn-around of vaccine production and distribution. Thank God, Trump is gone.
Earlier in the month, it was reported that a staggering one in five Americans had experienced a death in the family. The suffering and exhaustion experienced by doctors, nurses, lab technicians, and caregivers is unfathomable. I don’t know how they do it day after day after day. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Stranger or friend, I don’t know one person who hasn’t been affected by COVID-19 in one way or another. Most of us still worry about the safety of our children, our loved ones. Unless, of course, you are a loyal MAGA follower, who still believes COVID-19 is one big hoax. In that case, I feel sorry for you.
Doctors and nurses across the US share story after story of patients on their death beds, who at the ends of their lives, still don’t believe in the reality of the virus. I would imagine a medical professional must feel enormous frustration, disbelief, and yes, anger as they care for and intubate non-believers and anti-vaxxers on their death beds.
I cannot fathom this mentality, this selfishness, this madness.
Stay safe, friends. Continue to wear your masks. Continue to practice social distancing and get your vaccines as soon as possible. I need to hug my children and my loved ones.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning novel, “A Decent Woman”, published by Winter Goose Publishing in 2019. Eleanor’s debut novel, set 1900 Puerto Rico, garnered awards at the 2016 and 2017 International Latino Book Awards. She is featured in the anthology, “Latina Authors and Their Muses”. Eleanor is working on her second novel “The Laments”, set in 1926 Puerto Rico. Her debut poetry collection, “Tight Knots. Loose Threads. Poems” is due for release in April 2021.
Eleanor is the mother of amazing adult children and currently lives in Berkeley County, West Virginia with her Chihuahua Sophie.
For me, healing must happen in that order. For as long as it takes.
Congratulations to President Joseph R. Biden, Jr. and First Lady Dr. Jill Biden and Vice President Kamala Devi Harris and Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff. The Inaugural events were spectacular, moving, and most welcome!
On his first day in office, President Biden signed 15 executive orders.
During his first week as President of the United States of America, Biden signed, barred, repealed, revoked, put a moratorium in place, ordered, asked, and consulted.
I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty hopeful and relieved to have an adult in the White House. Amen. And Dr. Fauci is back. Hallelujah.
What am I hoping for? I’m hopeful President Biden will be the President to finally abolish the Jones Act. YES. It’s damn time. Thank all your Puerto Rican voters, Joe!
I’m watching, Joe. Waiting. Right over here. Do the right thing, Joe, for Puerto Rico.
Stay safe. Mask up, everyone.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning novel, “A Decent Woman”, published by Winter Goose Publishing. Eleanor’s debut novel, set 1900 Puerto Rico, garnered awards at the 2016 and 2017 International Latino Book Awards. She is featured in the anthology, “Latina Authors and Their Muses”, edited by Mayra Calvani.
Eleanor is working on her second novel “The Laments”, set in 1926 Puerto Rico, and an untitled collection of poems about the many facets of love, which often remind her of the complicated relationship between the United States and Puerto Rico.
Thirteen hours from now, Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. will become the 46th U.S. President. Kamala Devi Harris will be our Vice President, the first female Vice President, the first black of South Asian descent as Vice President. Tomorrow will be a historic day in US history, in women’s history, and black American history. A momentous day, indeed.
Today I was filled with restrained joy. Cautious hope. Sorrow. I pray for a return to sleeping through the night and not grinding my teeth. Lord knows, I feel hopeful for tomorrow. I do. But this week, that hope was mixed with sorrow, fear, and there’s tension in my shoulders. Our hearts are broken. We feel strong emotions today. We are in mourning. We need time to mourn as our family members, loved ones, friends, and strangers suffer and die from Covid-19. We mourn for those who took their lives last year and this year.
Today, a visibly emotional Joe Biden spoke in Delaware before his journey to Washington, DC. With grief etched on his face, he spoke about his son. I cried. What a blessing and relief to have a decent, compassionate man in the White House. Tomorrow at noon. Thank God.
Early in the 2020 Presidential campaign season, I explained my feelings and emotions to a friend. I felt as if I were dating a textbook narcissist, an abuser. Americans were gaslighted, lied to repeatedly, and we had the rug pulled out from under our feet over and over again by trump and his cowardly administration. We’ve endured a horrific four years under his presidency.
Tonight, I recognize much of what I feel. It resembles the anxiety and fear I felt the night before I left our family home in Brussels, heading to the US with my college-bound children and toward a divorce after a long-time marriage. I could not fully relax until 20, 30 minutes after our plane took off. It was awful.
As surprising as it feels now, it would take a few years to stop looking over my shoulder and thinking in a more positive manner. I believe Joe Biden’s presidency will feel like that for most of us. For as long as white supremacists, far-right extremist groups, and Q-Anon believers live among us, we must remain vigilant. They’ve already shown us who they are.
We will mourn our dead and we will never forget. Tomorrow is the first anniversary of the first confirmed case of Covid-19 in this country. The 400 lights along the Washington Reflecting Pool are beautiful. I hope they remain in place as a forever tribute to the over 400,000 COVID deaths in this country.
Tomorrow, we will celebrate President-elect Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris. I pray Joe Biden and his administration begin work immediately to find all the missing immigrant children and reunite them with their suffering parents and families. Innocent victims of trump and his callous, ruthless, and heartless administration.
Finally, we will celebrate trump’s final exit from the White House at the butt crack of dawn. I can’t wait for tomorrow. I can’t wait for his trial(s). May he never ever hold public office again. Nor his daughter. smh
Praying and thinking good thoughts for the swearing-in ceremony tomorrow. Prayers tonight for those who lost their lives to the novel coronavirus and their loved ones. Prayers for those who are suffering tonight. I send you a warm virtual hug.
Stay strong, be well.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning novel, “A Decent Woman”, published by Winter Goose Publishing. Eleanor’s debut novel, set 1900 Puerto Rico, garnered awards at the 2016 and 2017 International Latino Book Awards. She is featured in the anthology, “Latina Authors and Their Muses”, edited by Mayra Calvani.
Eleanor is working on her second novel “The Laments”, set in 1926 Puerto Rico, and an untitled collection of poems about the many facets of love, which often remind her of the complicated relationship between the United States and Puerto Rico.
Welcome to the end of 2020. Trump’s sideshow. The reality TV presidency. The hellish year. The year of the COVID-19 global pandemic. The year the majority of Americans woke up or finally believed the epic past and present greed and corruption perpetuated in this country by voting. The year most Americans finally acknowledged or looked at the abuses committed against minorities, the poor, LGBTQ folks and against immigrant families. Even my staunch Republican family member, who voted twice for trump, voiced her distaste for trump. That’s saying a lot.
I’m not going to write about 2020 in this blog post–the good, the bad, and the ugly of this pandemic year. We lived it. We’re still in it. You, me, and our loved ones. Our neighbors, friends, and strangers. Many of us are suffering, dying, and on the verge of emotional meltdowns/break downs. Too many have died. This year was a royal bitch and we’re nowhere near out of it.
American hospitals are in crisis. Our healthcare workers and healthcare facilities are overwhelmed and exhausted. In LA County, 14, 000 people a day test positive for Covid-19, that’s every 10-15 minutes. A new, more virulent strain of this virus is in the US. Two cases already. I heard a frightening report about a shortage of oxygen tanks in California. Oxygen. Holy God.
The goal to vaccinate 20 million Americans by the end of the year? Not happening. Only 2+ million Americans have received the first vaccine. So. Stay home. Wear your mask and keep doing your part to stop the spread of this virus. Hang on and stay safe. Vaccinations are coming. When? Well, that remains a big unknown. I pray our heroines and heroes on the front lines of this pandemic have already received their vaccines and that the rest of us are vaccinated by Spring 2021.
I started writing this 2020 Pandemic Diary on March 15, 2020. I’m amazed I kept it up. It wasn’t easy. I’m saving all my pandemic posts for my children and those who will come after us.
I honestly don’t have a lot to say on the last day of 2020, except that I’ve learned many important lessons. Living alone, which I’ve always enjoyed for making art, was an absolute bitch.
I wish you good health in 2021. Good health. As I’ve always believed, that’s everything.
Eleanor x
ABOUT ELEANOR:
Puerto Rican-born Eleanor Parker Sapia is the author of the multi-award-winning novel, “A Decent Woman”, published by Winter Goose Publishing. Eleanor’s debut novel, set 1900 Puerto Rico, garnered awards at the 2016 and 2017 International Latino Book Awards. She is featured in the anthology, “Latina Authors and Their Muses”, edited by Mayra Calvani.
Eleanor is working on her second novel “The Laments”, set in 1926 Puerto Rico, and an as yet untitled collection of poems about the many facets of love, which often remind her of the complicated relationship between the United States and Puerto Rico.
The Writing Life Blog 